I took a break from social media for the month of August. Specifically, I logged out of Facebook and Instragram on my phone and computer and only logged back in a couple of times to check very specific things. Now, the month is up and I’m trying to figure out how I want to re-engage.

Why did I take this break? I was spending too much time on both platforms. I use an app on my phone called “App Detox” that imposes time limits on usage and it was somewhat helpful. I usually set it to allow no more than 10 minutes a day each for Facebook and Instagram. Once 10 minutes are up, the apps simply shut down and that’s it for the day. However, it is easy to override the limits and I did that occasionally. Also, it was only on my phone, and I also visited both sights from my computer a few times a day. Ultimately, 10 minutes a day on 2 apps adds up to 2 hours and 20 minutes a week and I think it’s fair to say that in the last couple years, I probably spent 3-4 hours a week on social media most weeks. That just sounds like too much to me. There are so many other things I’d rather do with 2 hours.

Making better use of that time is unfortunately not that straightforward because I usually use social media during “transitional times” when I’ve finished one activity, like sending an email or making an online purchase, but before I’ve shifted into something else. The two-and-a-half or three hours a week was not spent in chunks that could easily be re-dedicated to achieving some other goal that requires focus, but still, I just didn’t feel great about looking back over my time and seeing it add up. Over the course of a year, that’s 130 hours or more. I didn’t feel like what I was getting out of social media felt worth 130 hours of my time.

Besides the time factor, I was definitely finding social media to elevate my blood pressure over the course of this summer. This actually made it harder for me to take a break. For the most part, the stuff on social media that stressed me out was not made up of conspiracy theories or people on opposite sides of the proverbial aisle from me. What was hardest for me were things that people I respect posted, that challenged my beliefs and made me think hard about who I want to be in a very difficult time in our country. That sounds like a good use of social media, doesn’t it? To have your community help you to grow? I was afraid that taking a break was turning my back on things I should be paying attention to, withdrawing into my own privilege.

But I was overwhelmed. There were a lot of voices, a lot of demands, and a lot of strongly differing ideas for where we go from here. Also, very little context. I wasn’t just feeling challenged, I was feeling lost and a little pushed around. I was feeling like if I didn’t agree with every activist statement on the internet, I was a bad person. (And it’s hard to agree with everyone…that’s a lot of people.) This made it more difficult for me to connect to my own values and think for myself, and left me rather crabby.
So, it seemed like taking a step back, temporarily, was a good idea.

What did I miss? Honestly, I didn’t miss it much. I did find myself reflexively wanting to log on in those same transitional moments I mentioned above, but when I asked myself why I couldn’t come up with a good reason. It was good practice in self-discipline to stop myself from doing it. My husband has very limited networks of family and friends on his accounts, so he kindly made it a point to show me anything notable. A good friend of mine sent me the Zoom links for book club meetings that are normally only posted in the Facebook Group. But there are a lot of things that can only be accessed via Facebook these days, including important analysis of current events by some groups in my community that are not well represented in traditional media. I checked in a couple times to seek out those voices. I also logged on a couple times when someone sent me something that was only available there.

I think that Facebook is a vile company and would love nothing more than an international boycott, but the platform is a source of connection and does equip us with tools we might not otherwise have for free. I knew that some of that would be true, but it was a good exercise in seeing how often this stuff actually occurred. In one month, it was just a handful of times – definitely not with the frequency I feared.

What did I learn? Sadly, I learned that social media is not necessarily the thing that is keeping my eyes on my phone screen so much. I replaced scrolling with game-playing. Mahjong, Nonogram, Word Stacks, I Love Hue, Match 22, Rikudo, Block! Triange, 7 Words, Woody, and Einstein Riddle all became time fillers when I wanted to check out. Interestingly, my phone tells me that I spent an average of almost 4 hours a week on games in August. I could argue that some of these games might qualify as brain-exercise, but I don’t have real evidence of that. I will however, posit that I was also intentionally trying to embrace down-time for most of the month as things were a little quiet between my summer and fall school semesters and I needed to rest and recharge. In September, there will be a great deal more urgency in my schedule and I can’t afford to widdle away 4 hours a week, so it’s unlikely I’ll continue at that rate. Still, the issue here seems to be that I am turning to my phone for activities that I might enjoy, but probably not enough to spend 4 hours a week on. There are a LOT of books on my to-read shelf – if I spent even half that time reading, I’d be in much better shape.

With regard to my fear that I would be withdrawing from important civic conversation, that didn’t turn out to be a problem. In fact, I think this exercise was a huge success, even if I can’t say that it was less stressful. I had ample opportunity to be challenged by those around me. My sisters and I had some tough conversations as the Democratic and Republican Conventions played out. My husband and I dug deep on questions of the roles and responsibilities we have professionally, as citizens, and as human beings in a very unequal world. I listened to podcasts, read the newspaper, and on occasion went to Twitter to see how specific public figures where responding to politics, Covid, and the horrible shooting of Jacob Blake. (Twitter will never be my downfall – I don’t really understand how to use it – so it was not on my restricted list.) None of these things led me to any vast clarity, but the searching and the inner questioning feels more substantive and productive to me than reading hot-takes on Facebook and Instagram in the prior months. I spent more time trying to figure out what I really believe instead of looking for posts to tell me what to think.

Moreover, my engagement with others has felt more meaningful, thoughtful, and enlightening. One friend shared some good news with me in a private chat on a Zoom meeting we were both in and we’re now scheduled to talk one-on-one in a couple days to catch up. I made a few phone calls to check in with people when I might not have if I’d been watching updates on social media. I feel more open to reading and hearing ideas that challenge me because it seems like there is a little more room in my head and my heart to consider them. I’m not feeling barraged by messages of social media, which can make me feel both defensive and small, even as I recognize that the medium is not ideal for nuanced conversation.

Ultimately, I feel like I cleaned a mental closet – my life is not markedly different, but it feels a little less cluttered. The things that need attention seem a little bit more clear, and I feel slightly less overwhelmed.

I think that I will keep the apps off my phone and try to figure out how to keep my use more reasonable going forward. If anyone has any recommendations, I’m all ears.